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Shelby

Hi Andrew! This was such a cool and abstract concept. Congrats on seeing it through to the end!

The difference in the real world and blank world is so interesting. The real world is dark and dreary, and the blank world is so bright. Even after it becomes filled with other things and people.
I was a little confused on if the other people were real people in similar situations to William, or if the soul dreamed up/created them.

Very cool overall. There were some solid sequences in here

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Aug 22, 2022, 5:29 PM

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Allen (1 helpful)

Hi, Andrew!

I know this is the final submission for the class, but I still want to provide a bit of feedback in case you decide to continue to work on the project beyond this course. Hopefully the notes are helpful, but as always, feel free to ignore any that don't match your vision. And most importantly, congratulations on finishing your storyreel!

I absolutely love the sequence where William falls out of his body as he nods off. It's so well drawn and animated!

I can't recall if you did this last time around, but the decision to keep the real-world William grey and the real-world itself quite dark compared to the white fantasy William and bright fantasy world really worked to keep things clearer for me this viewing.

I know you said it hurts for you to listen to your own voice work here, but I think it really helped to communicate your story. It wasn't distracting and never took me out of the world, so don't stress it (everyone hates their own recorded voice).

Like you mention, I think this story is mostly there. You've reached a point where it's all much better communicated and relatively easy to follow and it has a nice little arc where William learns to take more risks and break from his routine. The motivations aren't always clear, but as an overall piece it works and is absolutely something you should be proud of.

You also took on a theme that's very hard to tackle and a bit heavy overall, and I commend you for that. These kinds of stories are more interesting to me than the many others we've seen so many times before. You took a big risk with this concept, and I think it paid off. Great work throughout the course!

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Aug 21, 2022, 7:00 PM

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Andrew (1 like)

Thank you for your kind comments. I am happy with how the film developed from the feedback.

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Aug 21, 2022, 10:09 PM

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Habiba (1 like)

I love how the soul kind of decides to split and maybe live a bit with a space, the only thing that wished it had maybe music and shorter sequences! But definitely a story we can relate to! Reminded me of the pixar short “Inner Working” ! Great job!

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Aug 21, 2022, 4:37 AM

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William's routine is repetative and unfulfilling. One day, the silent torment of "not living" drives his soul to split from his body to find itself in a blank space to make it's own.

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I think like a lot of people I had to all my own voices and it hurts to listen to (for me). I think the storyboard/animatic is about 80% done, there are some pacing issues through each act and I think with more time and maybe a couple people writing, it could become something quite special. But this was a fun side project and I am happy enough to leave as is.

This is where the special thanks would go!  I’m assuming they will be a little longer this week, therefore, I designed extra space for them. If there is far more description and special thanks then there is space, this entire box becomes scrollable.

Special Thanks:

Team:
Just Andrew

Andrew

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